The best Christmas song ever

I was a little worried about missing Christmas this year. You know, being all Islamic focused and the like. I even made my family listen to Christmas songs before thanksgiving this year. Oh the horrors! But I really thought I’d miss out on all the carols, and I like singing them around the tree every year, especially with the candles all lit up.

But as the lord probably said somewhere in the bible, Fear not, my children! After all, there is nothing to fear but fear itself. If you go to a shopping center, you can still here the same bad versions of Christmas songs here! My personal favorite, which I’ve now heard at least four times, is on Kenny G’s album Wishes (2002). I asked. To quote the famous worst review essay I ever received and had to put a grade on, “I would advice you to go out and buy this album now for soon, it will become too much precious, like a diamond.”

The song you’re looking for is called Auld Lang Syne, (Freedom Mix). It starts out a little freaky, with the chanting of USA! USA! after the two towers fell, followed closely be children’s voices chanting the pledge of allegiance. It is a very eerie effect. I was never creeped out by the pledge before. Trust me, it gets better though, so keep listening. Everybody who ever said anything famous in America gets sampled, from the above FDR quote, to the Martin Luther King Jr., “I have a dream” speech, to Nixon’s resignation. Before the five minutes is over, you even get to hear Clinton say “I did not have sexual relations with that women.” But then turn it off quick after “Al Gore has won the election” followed by Regis saying, “Is that your final answer?”, otherwise you have to hear the creepy children again. And that will just leave you with the heebiegeebies for the rest of the day.

So, the question remains, why is this song popular in Indonesia? I have no idea. Apparently, I was told that December is the Indo-chic month for Muslims to go on hajj. If it weren’t for the endless mirth that fills me every time I hear that song (that is, those times that I am able to go to my special happy place before the return of the pledge), I wouldn’t really blame them.

So, where to spend Christmas this year? I’m not sure yet. It somehow doesn’t feel like it’s really Christmas so far away from my family.

Oh, and if you’re curious about what that other album it is that you should buy, look for Tarkan, German born, Turkish singer. Apparently:
“When you hear him singing, you feel as if you are in a dream which you don’t want to wake up. He is so handsome, attractive and he has got a perfect voice. When young girls see the total of these quality from him they makes him their idol and they sleep with Tarkan and they wake up with Tarkan.”
If only he didn’t have that one pesky problem…. “He didn’t speak well English.” For shame!